Mr. Jones lives in a van
Sits and waits for the world to end
Counts the fingers on his hand
Loses count, then he starts again
He don't know why
All the kids are still complaining
When he looks at the world
With two eyes closed
It don't need changing

Mr. Jones lives in the past
Sits and waits for his life to pass
Counts the days till his children call
He don't hear from them at all
No one told him
The world will pass him if he lets it
He looks like he's seen a ghost
But he's just seen his own reflection

Happy face
Fake a smile
Like they taught you to
Jesus saves
Those who do
What they're told to do
Heaven knows
I can't change
If I wanted to
You cut me open
And I look exactly like you

Mr. Jones don't go outside
The neighbors think he must have died
He used to preach like an honest man
With two left feet and a red right hand
He don't know why
All the people seek forgiveness
He don't have the heart to tell them
Everybody goes to heaven

Everybody goes to heaven (but nobody gets saved)
Everybody goes to heaven (nobody gets saved)
Everybody goes to heaven (nobody gets saved)
Everybody goes to heaven

In times of desperation
They're just so easy to find
If we can get 'em while they're young
We can make up their mind
Before they even have a chance
To see what they're missing
They'll be standing like a statue
Made of stone in his image

They turn your fear into conviction
(Everybody goes to heaven)
Turn your water to wine
Give your money to the church
(Everybody goes to heaven)
And come collect in the next life
Make a blind man see
(Everybody goes to heaven)
Make a dead man rise again
Cleanse the spirit and the soul
(Everybody goes to heaven)
Wipe the blood from your hands
"Amen," everybody screamed
(Everybody goes to heaven)
They just wanted to feel like they were part of something
(Everybody goes to heaven)
As long as there's a dollar in the pocket of the poor
(Everybody goes to heaven)
There will always be a savior who takes until they can't no more
(Everybody goes to heaven)

Everybody goes to heaven
But nobody gets saved

Happy face
Fake a smile
Like they taught you to
Jesus saves
Those who do
What they're told to do (nobody gets saved)
Heaven knows
I can't change
If I wanted to
You cut me open
And I look exactly like you (nobody's getting saved)

(Aah-aah-aah)
(Nobody's getting saved)